do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
