I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
