It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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