My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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