Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
