my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
