I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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