That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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