You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
