I heard we made out
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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