Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
