did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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