he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
