Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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