..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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