Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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