And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
