At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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