I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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