i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
