I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she smelled like a LAN party
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
