TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
