The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
