My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
