i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
