Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
