Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
