sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
