His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
FUCK WHALES
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
