I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
