think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
