He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
