Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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