Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
