So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
im holly from the hills drunk
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
