At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
