I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
