I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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