That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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