Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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