Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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