oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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