No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
