idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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