When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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