I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
