You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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