You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
