Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
