cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
